Nicholas Boothman
I first discovered the secrets of getting along with people during my career as a fashion and advertising photographer.
Whether it was working with a single model for a page in Vogue or four hundred people on a cruise ship to promote a Norwegian cruise line, it was obvious that for me photography was more about clicking with people than was about clicking with a camera. What’s more, it didn’t matter if the shoot was taking place in the lobby of the Ritz Hotel in San Francisco or a ramshackle hut on the side of a mountain in Africa; the principles for establishing rapport were universal.
For as long as I can remember I have found it easy to get along with people. Could it be a gift? Is there such a thing as a natural talent for getting along with people or is it something that’s learned along the way? And if it can be learned, can it be taught? I decided to find out.
I knew from 25 years of shooting still photographs for magazines all over the world that attitude and body language are paramount to creating a strong visual impression – magazine ads have less than two seconds to capture the reader’s attention. I was also aware that there was a way of using body language and voice-tone to make perfect strangers feel comfortable and cooperative. My third realization was that a few well-chosen words could evoke expression, mood and action in almost any subject. With these insights under my belt I decided to look a little deeper.
Why is it easier to get on with some people than with others? Why can I have an interesting conversation with a person I’ve just met, and yet someone else might dismiss that same person as boring or threatening? Clearly, something must be happening on a level beyond our conscious awareness, but what is it?
As my new path became clearer I set aside my cameras and resolved to focus on how people work on the inside as well as how they look on the outside. Over the next few years I sought out and studied Neuro Linguistic Programming with Dr. Richard Bandler in London and New York and earned a license as a Master Practitioner of NLP. I studied irresistible language patterns in Canada and England and delved into everything to do with the brain’s part in human connectivity. I worked with actors, comedians and drama teachers in America and storytellers in Africa to adapt improvisational drills into exercises that enhance conversational skills.
Since then I have gone on to give keynote speeches and seminars all over the world, working with all kinds of groups and individuals, from sales teams to teachers, from leaders of organizations who thought they knew it all, to children so shy that people thought they were dim-witted. And one thing became very clear; making people like you in 90 seconds or less is a skill that can be taught to anyone; and in a natural, easy and entertaining way.
When not traveling the world, I live on a farm with my wife Wendy. Our five children have all grown up and are pursuing their dreams.
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